Doggone Good
Doggone Good
Alternate tite: Tail Waggin' Good
Waiter, a comb for my noodles!
People, we need to brainstorm an advertising slogan for Acme Noodles, our newest client. We’re using photos of dogs lounging outside on big sheets of noodles being dried for sale to restaurants because, well, what goes together like noodles and dogs!
Here are the possible slogans we have so far:
Hey Shep, fetch me some more Acme!
Acme Noodles: trust us, you don’t want to know!
Acme: Not as disgusting as you’d think!
Acme: Our noodles aren’t yellow for nothing!
Dogs recline on sheets of rice noodle being dried near a railway track in Phu Dien village outside Hanoi October 22, 2008. The village produces rice noodles, a staple breakfast meal, that are sold to restaurants in Hanoi. REUTERS/Kham
Stayin' Alive: The Beat Goes On
Stayin' Alive: The Beat Goes On
Now I can't get that song out of my head!
Disco tune "Stayin' Alive" could save your life
WASHINGTON (Reuters) –
U.S. doctors have found the Bee Gees 1977 disco anthem "Stayin' Alive" provides an ideal beat to follow while performing chest compressions as part of CPR on a heart attack victim.
The American Heart Association calls for chest compressions to be given at a rate of 100 per minute in cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). "Stayin' Alive" almost perfectly matches that, with 103 beats per minute.
In a small study headed by Dr. David Matlock of the University of Illinois College of Medicine at Peoria, listening to "Stayin' Alive" helped 15 doctors and medical students to perform chest compressions on dummies at the proper speed.
Five weeks after practicing with the music playing, they were asked to perform CPR again on dummies by keeping the song in their minds, and again they kept up a good pace.
The findings will be presented this month at a meeting of the American College of Emergency Physicians in Chicago.
Lead Pipe Cinch
Lead Pipe Cinch
I think I would try to protect my family if someone was in the house naked at 4am. Maybe the police thought he should have offered the boy milk and cookies.
A Deltona father ended up in jail Thursday after finding his daughter's teenage boyfriend naked in the girl's bedroom and hitting him with a pipe, sheriff's officials said.
Raul Colon, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend -- or that the youngster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year. So when he heard noises coming from his daughter's room early Thursday and saw a naked stranger standing on the girl's bed, he swung a metal pipe he had taken from the garage, hitting the 15-year-old, according to a Volusia County sheriff's report.
Colon was charged with aggravated battery on a child but was released from jail later Thursday on $10,000 bail, a booking officer said. No one answered the phone at Colon's residence Thursday for comment.
Colon's daughter later told deputies she had been seeing Contreres for 18 months but did not tell her father about the relationship. Contreres had sneaked in through a bedroom window at 3 a.m. Thursday to have sex with her
Good Neighbor
Good Neighbor
Pooch comes to sick neighbour's aid
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
NEW YORK - A fluffy little dog named Lexi is being called a hero for helping to rescue an 85-year-old neighbour who collapsed in his Brooklyn apartment.
Linda Deutsch concedes that she thought Lexi - a white bichon frise - was being naughty when she refused to get into the elevator for their walk.
Finally, though, Deutsch let Lexi lead her down the hall.
That's when she heard a cry for help.
The building superintendent was summoned, and they found Charles Postler, who had been lying helplessly on the floor for hours.
He was treated at a hospital.
Comments his son, Charles Postler Jr.: "People say that dogs are man's best friend and this proves it all over again."
Lower Than A Snake's Belly
Lower Than A Snake's Belly
50 Poisonous Snakes Found in Man’s Condo
A Tokyo man has been arrested for housing more than 50 poisonous snakes, including cobras with highly toxic venom.
The arrest occurred after he recovered from being bitten by an eastern green mamba, which is considered one of the world’s most poisonous snakes.
Biting the hand that feeds you is a maxim that snakes apparently don’t understand or have no regard for.
Nobukazu Kashiwagi, aged 42, called an ambulance and was rushed to the hospital in critical condition from his condominium in the Jingumae district of the city.
Nobukazu Kashiwagi, aged 42, called an ambulance and was rushed to the hospital in critical condition from his condominium in the Jingumae district of the city.
He was arrested after recovering from a bite on his finger for violation of the Law Concerning the Protection and Control of Animals.
No one seems to know why Kashiwagi kept these snakes in plastic boxes all over his home.
Maybe they are afraid to ask.
Sausage Beating
Sausage Beating
Don't abuse an eight inch sausage; you could go to jail.
Burglar victims wake to spice rub, sausage attack
A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.
Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.
"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.
Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.
After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.
Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.
"That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said.
"I tell you, this was one weird case."
Butting In
Butting In
I hope some day we will hear the sad end to this sad tail.
Police in Valentine, Neb., are stepping up efforts to find a man, dubbed the “Butt Bandit,” imprinting his naked behind and groin on windows in the city.
The perpetrator, according to Chief Ben McBride, has been busy for more than a year leaving his rear-end mark smeared with petroleum jelly and lotion, on area store, school and church windows.
In one brazen attack, the Butt Bandit hit a local hotel where virtually all of its windows were imprinted with his derriere and crotch.
Police staked out one church that had been repeatedly hit but were unable to catch the culprit. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year. The man is described as approximately 6-feet-tall, slender with a dark complexion, and hair styled in a "1980s, feathered look.
Police are now a hair away from cracking the case.
Are My Cheeks Red?
Are My Cheeks Red?
Ow! I wonder how long before that boy can sit down again?
I hope he isn't one of those kids who likes to show off his scars; especially as he gets older!
A 12-year-old has been taken to hospital with burns after blowing up a petrol
can while breaking wind.
The boy was attempting to set fire to his farts as part of a competition
against his cousin in the garden of a house in Tipton when the accident
occurred.
Fire fighters were called to the address but the small blaze had already
burned itself out when the crew arrived.
Officers administered first aid until an ambulance arrived.
The victim was taken to Russells Hall Hospital in Dudley suffering from 18 per
cent burns to the backs of his legs and his thumb.
Watch commander Paul Harpin, from Tipton station, said it was the first time
he had been called out to deal with such an incident.
“The boy had been pranking around in the garden having a competition with
his cousin, when they were breaking wind and lighting it. Right behind him
was a petrol can and that just flashed.
“I think he must have won the competition but he will have some nasty burns
now.
Horse Laugh
Horse Laugh
I always though politicians had more experience kissing the other end.
Utah pol gets off lightly by kissing horse
A Utah county official says he got off lightly after smooching a stoic horse to pay off a weight-loss bet his staff made with the staff at a local hospital.
Davis County Commissioner Alan Hansen went through with the "kiss-a-horse" ceremony in Farmington, Utah. Tuesday, but it was a makeup for missing the original payoff, which involved the drooling champion steer at the county fair.
"Thankfully, it was a horse that had a dry mouth as opposed to a slobbery cow," Hansen told the Salt Lake Tribune.
Hansen's date with Reno, a sand-colored filly who took it all in stride, came after employees at Davis Hospital and Medical Center lost a tad more combined weight than their counterparts at the county building.
The Tribune (NYSE:TXA) noted that although Hansen was conveniently out of town during the county fair, two of his fellow commissioners were stuck and had to pucker up for a steer that one said "dripped drool by the gallon."
Yum, Butter!
Yum, Butter!
Recycling Spreads
Butter that creamy, sweet bovine creation most often is
seen dripping from corn on the cob, perking up popcorn or
nestled snugly in a mound of mashed potatoes.
But when the curtain falls on this year's New York
State Fair, the 900 or so pounds of butter making up the
famous butter sculpture will not end up on a plate anywhere,
or in the garbage. Instead, it will be powering vehicles at
a Syracuse college.
This year's butter will be turned into biodiesel fuel
by students and faculty at the State University College of
Environmental Science and Forestry. The biodiesel will fuel
cars and buses at ESF.
"Butter is 80 percent fat and oil and 20 percent water
and protein," Nicholson said. "What we have to do
is render it heat it to separate the fats and oils from the
water and protein."
The water and protein is thrown away. Then the oil and fat
is clarified making it pure and clean.
Pantless in Oklahoma City
Pantless in Oklahoma City
It it just me or is it breezy in here?
OKLAHOMA CITY -- Police in Oklahoma are trying to get to the bottom of a convenience store robbery where the bandit was caught on surveillance video flashing more than a gun.
The man stole about $80 from an EZ Mart in July, reported KOCO-TV. Police told the station that the gun and choice of disguise used in the robbery left the clerk traumatized.
The video shows the man walking into the store with his shirt over his head and his pants falling down to his knees. After getting money and cigarettes from the clerk, the man walked out of the store and fled.
"It's really surprising that he pulled off the robbery since he?s trying to cover his face with one hand and then he?s holding the gun with the other hand," said Balderrama. "And in the meantime, he's having to pull up his pants at the same time."
Feces Flys High: Fan Blamed
Feces Flys High: Fan Blamed
An inflatable dog feces sculpture the size of a house from a modern art exhibition in a Swiss museum has blown away.
The sculpture title “Complex S--t” by American Artist Paul McCarthy was lifted by a sudden gust of wind this week from the Paul Klee center in Berne and carried 200 yards, but not before knocking down electricity lines and smashing a greenhouse window.
The automatic safety device that was supposed to deflate the sculpture in case of a storm malfunctioned. The blow-up sculpture came to rest on the grounds of an area children’s home.
Museum directors have not yet decided whether to reinstall it at the “East of Eden. A Garden Show” exhibit.
Now, that stinks!
dianafasanella's page
This Makes Me Eel
This Makes Me Eel
It's fizzy, it's refreshing, it's full of vitamins and it's EEL!
Sky News reports that the Japan Tobacco Company has launched a new ‘fizzy’ drink called Unagi Nobori or ‘Surging Eel’. The drink went on sale this month during the country’s eel-eating season.
The yellow-colored fizzy drink contains extracts from the head and bones of eel plus five vitamins that are contained in the fish. It’s said to be the best way to stay cool in hot weather.
“It’s mainly for men who are exhausted by the summer’s heat,” said company spokesman Kazunori Hayashi.
Eel is a sought after delicacy in Japan often prepared in a style called ‘kaba-yaki’ in which it is broiled and covered in a sweet sauce.
The drink costs about one-tenth as much as broiled eel but is said to have a similar flavor.
I suppose the next step will be to use it as a mixer with rice wine and offer it as liquid fish cakes.
Movie Rage?
Movie Rage?
I usually don't have movie rage until after I've viewed the flick. I guess he really, really, REALLY wanted to see Iron Man. No word on his blood alcohol level at the time.
Angry moviegoer allegedly tosses computer monitor
CASPER, Wyo. (AP) -- Police say a 55-year-old man tossed a computer monitor through a glass door after being refused a cash refund at a Casper movie theater. The man faces charges of felony property damage and disturbing the peace.
According to the police affidavit, the man said theater employees refused to give him his money back after something went wrong with the movie projector when he was watching "Iron Man." Instead, the employees offered him a rain check to see another movie.
Witnesses said the man started yelling and ripped the computer monitor from the ticket counter and threw it through a glass door.
Damage was estimated at $1,250.
Information from: Star-Tribune, http://www.trib.com
iPhone Application, Stoopid
iPhone Application, Stoopid
I really can't imagine anyone paying for this one; not even Paris Hilton.
'I Am Rich' iPhone Application Retails for $1,000
Upset that the Apple iPhone is just no longer exclusive enough? Feeling cheated that the price has dropped to $200 and the hoi polloi can afford it?
Well, then, Apple has the perfect downloadable application for you.
Called "I Am Rich" and created by some fellow named Armin Heinrich, it costs a mere $999.99 and displays a glowing red gem. That's all it does.
You can put it on the screen of your iPhone, which you probably paid $600 for a year ago, to prove to tennis partners, business rivals and high-end call girls that you truly are of the moneyed class.
Supposedly, when you click on the cursive "I" symbol that offers information, you're greeted with a "secret mantra" teaching that will help you "stay rich, healthy and successful."
As of this writing, no one had ponied up the $1,000 — or 799.99 euros, or 599.99 British pounds — to find out what that mantra might be.
We suspect it's German for "Sucker!"
oklahoman
Strange News, Oddities and Anomalies
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